Hi, 2020! How are you doing? Are you doing, just fine?
I hope, you are. It might sound obviously too much, but you should be grateful
for what you’ve become, really! Even though you give much more pressure to most
of us – the creatures of God, called human – you let us experience thing that
never come across our mind before. Yes, a lockdown. You do! To some of us, you
have offered a good and sensible reason to stay at home. More than that, you have
given our earth a little space to breathe at ease, then causing an unprecedented drop in the carbon emission around the world. Who would expect that to happen in
you? Have you ever dreamt of that before?
For me, you are no different from the others. None of you really leave me without any surprises. Even the surprise itself might wonder, how could all of you be so consistent? That’s good and I always be looking forward to many more surprises ahead – the good one, of course. I almost forget to mention this, you’ve also contributed in shaping me into the person I am today. That’s why, you deserve a post even though you have officially left. Here’s a late greeting that is more likely to be a farewell post for you.
To be honest, you’ve made a good impression on me when we first met. Despite the fact that I was less optimistic and was under pressure at first, I was able to step out of my comfort zone and begin a new challenging walk. For some reasons and certain kind of situation, it was indeed a moment that needed a highlight. Even when I look back to that time, I still don’t believe that I could get that self-motivated energy to start the walk.
(This was taken around June; my very first trip during pandemic)
Officially signing out of “Job-seeker” stage.
The surprise that I hope to be showered on me all year
around is the good one. No need any explanations, it’s perhaps everyone’s hope,
isn’t? Even though we’ve anticipated the bad one, we never really want that one
to come, or even nearly come across the line. Then here I am, gratefully
stating that I have got more than I might have expected to happen in 2020. After
I got graduated in 2019, I spent about half a year to join some recruitment
programs. Yet, it might be the perfectionist side of me who then pushed me to only
apply on MT programs instead of trying all offers. I knew, I was too picky as a
person who were lack of work experience. All I thought about back then was I wanted
to level up myself and it could only be achieved by joining MT program.
Long story short, I applied a program held by one of SOEs
and I made it to the final line. Indeed, it was kind of tough and exhausting
journey, but I was grateful to succeed on my first attempt. Then I started the
whole series of orientation program on January – which marked a turning point
for me in terms of reinventing and levelling up myself. In total, I spent about
six months (including; Bintal, In-class training, OJT and KDMP) to officially
become part of this company. Those six months were nothing compared to what I earned
during the process; I got new friends, new insights, new mind-blowing facts and
new memories. The highlighted point of all should be; I finally experienced
people’s stories of how would it feel to be an employee and got my own salary,
yeay!
There’s also time when I have no choice but to hate
you.
You might think that it
is unfair for you to get linked to whatever struggles that I’ve been through
for the past 365 days. Of course, you neither purposefully send me there for
you don’t even own such a power to do that. Yet, you couldn’t just turn your
face away to the fact that labelling-thing does exists. The worst is that some people
out there will tend to label you by the trouble you’ve caused to them for the
whole year. And for you, I think you already have many clues on mind, don’t you?
As I have mentioned before, we experience a lockdown, and what’s that lockdown
for? Although the virus itself was found at the end of 2019, the fight against
covid19 got intense in 2020 as the first wave began to emerge across the
countries. So, please don’t get surprised if later, when people get asked about
how their 2020 is going, they would reply any other than “It’s great!”
For me, rather than
saying that I hate you, I hate the situation that we all need to overcome
instead. Many plans are cancelled for an indefinite period of time and some
acts should be taken for staying sane; are thing that I find myself hard to
cope in 2020. It might be nothing compared to those who’ve lost their job or
lost their loved ones due to the pandemic. Yet, it still impacts me. Not only
that two, the way I understand the essence of “living” also becomes more complicated
than ever. Then I have this overthinking side of me that could not help but
intervene. Its intervention goes wild. I even lose count of imagining what or
where would I be if this pandemic never happened. Later when I find it’s impossible,
I blame myself for wasting time and start over again to understand everything. Right!
It surely is a kind of repetitive cycle. It’s hard and indeed, it’s exhausting!
Nevertheless, I learn.
As thing around us
start shifting, we, human, are forced to move and adapt. It surely takes time
and efforts. It somehow also offers us a roller coaster ride during the
process. Yet, that’s how we learn, don’t we? A friend of mine once said that
things might look hard but taking a great effort is not only necessary, it later
could yield unbelievable results. The result itself comes in many shapes. There
must also be one that benefit you by giving you a chance to learn. Besides, we
could not just expect a result to always come in numbers, digits, size or any
other countable things, right?
From that concept, I
begin to recall what I actually have in 2020. They are too much to process but
2020 has really been a wonderful year in which I get various shapes of results.
Some are wrapped in a beautiful paper – called lessons. One of the best that I
earned is that we never know what we get until we start to act. It sounds
common or familiar for you, I know. Yet, it really soothe me along with the
music I play in loop.
Finally, here's the last that sum all words above; thank you 2020, you are kind, wonderful and meaningful! Good bye, see you around in my flashback moment (which i could not predict when or where it might be)!
Warm regard,
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